Spoiled Rotten

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Cydney in mid-fit

I don’t believe saying my daughter “is” so I will say that she has been spoiled rotten.  She never stood a chance.  She’s a cutie, she can’t help that and that it makes people want to spoil her.  She spent the first four weeks in the hospital because they were nice enough to keep her in the nursery while her mother was being tested, diagnosed, and treated for cancer days after she was born.  Normally children are there for two days so as long as Cydney was at the hospital people really got attached to her.  They used to tell us all the time that everyone just wanted to hold her whenever she got upset.  She became everyone’s baby.

By the time we got home, she was quite a handful at night.  My fiancé and I didn’t get it or understand at first why she needed to be held because for the most part we didn’t have that problem especially because she was in the nursery during bed time.  No matter how hard I tried she would not lay in her bassinet.

Due to a created hostility and plot to keep Cydney to themselves I did not see Cydney between November 2011 and April of 2012 (I’m sure one day there will be a post about this in detail).  The last time I’d seen her she was nine months old.  She was still a baby with only a couple of personality traits.  One of those being a short fuse and explosive temper.  As soon as she didn’t get her way she would spazz by falling out and crying.  I and all f us around would do all that we can to try to correct this by doing the classic walking away and eventually children will stop but that doesn’t work all of the time.  Knowing where she was for five months I have a good idea of where this came from.  I could tell she was held all the time, kept in a walker for too long, and my fiancé’s mother is famous for throwing a fit when she didn’t get her way.

I know I give in sometimes.  But I’m supposed to let her get away with bloody murder.  Its one of the perks of being daddy’s little girl.  Its part of the training that comes along with all the boys who will try to have a very hard time and to come correct.  I tend to solve problems by trying to find the root of it.  So the two aforementioned reasons have played a role in it but I know there’s more.  Her mother and myself can be pretty combustible people where agitated (her mother REALLY had a temper when pissed off).  I wonder how much of what she’s gone through in the last eighteen months have played into this.  Your brain doesn’t forget anything.  Whatever enters it stays there in what is often called the emotional brain (limbic system).  Everything is lodged deep into there and causes our unconscious responses to things.  While she will never remember her mother, living in various cities, or even the stress of her prenatal environment I often wonder how much of these things have caused her response of spazzing out an is she really crying out for more than just what I think she is.

I Will continue in another post.

One thought on “Spoiled Rotten

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  1. You’ll have to forgive me for the giggle I had reading your post. We had a similar problem (I say had b/c I’m in denial about the present). Olivia “was” super spoiled especially by Grandma and Grandpa! However, for 2 different reasons. First, my husband and I were told we would struggle to conceive children (and probably never would on our own), and secondly, she is grandbaby #1!

    I KNOW my parents still spoil her rotten. Chris and I have gotten better at recognizing the difference between letting her experiment with her surroundings and letting her have her way just b/c she WANTS it.

    If Cydney is daddy’s little girl and she spazzes b/c of it sometimes, then thats just life. She’s had a hard start to life. You are her 1 and only surviving parent. Frankly, I’d spoil her freaking rotten. She’s not even 2 years old and had experiences that some 30 year olds never have. Shes a tough gal (by the sounds of it). Your doing the best you can! The fact that you recognize your parenting skills and where you are strong & lacking…is a HUGE step.

    Like

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