I’ve been trying to make sense of a few things in my life. The last year has been all about starting over and making a way out of no way. Very tiresome but it must be done. Professionally I’ve been in between a rock and a hard place. I left my job in Buffalo last November processing mortgages and overseeing short sales because my fiance wanted to move to Virginia near her parents while doing her cancer treatments down there. Well, three weeks into being there her parents raised Hell, found out that she only had a week left to live, and drove me out to keep custody of Cydney (no lie).
I came back to New York having to start back at ground zero. Until a regular job came through I worked doing music production and consultation. My father is a professional musician and over the years I picked it up and ran with it. It wasn’t a lot of money but just enough to pay my fees and hang out on the weekends if I wanted to (not to mention some of my legal fees in my custody cases in both New York and Virginia).
In July, my studio computer shut down and wouldn’t turn back on; something that hadn’t happened in five years. Ok, no problem will back everything up and start over. The next week, Cydney drops my backup hard drive and that doesn’t turn on. Time to improvise once again. I have my old 2004 which by the grace of God still works and I’d record or mix vocals ok that bc it was all I could do.
Well two days ago the laptop wouldn’t turn on. I fixed it and it worked again but then the charger shut down on me and stopped working. I took this all as a sign that as much ripping and running that I do to take a break and get some rest. As I have been doing any and all to take care of my family there has been one monkey wrench after another. In no way am I mad because I know there is a reason. I just don’t know what.
Children take, take, and take. They mean well but they require loads of energy on little sleep. I love my little girl and her wild self requires a little more than most children. While she has been solely responsible for two (possibly three) of the computer breakdowns she can’t help it. They’re a lot more in tune to things then you’d realize. When she sees I’m frustrated she runs over and gives me a big long hug as if she knows something’s up.
And then all is right in the world.