I’ve decided that Wednesday posts will be devoted to the struggle. There’s plenty of them and while they’re unique they’re ones almost all problems have.
I’m a hip hop head. I’m REALLY a hip hop head like I listen to all of the new stuff (hate it) that comes out yet my playlists usually consist of the good stuff. Of all the raps I’ve ever heard in my life there are very few songs in which one raps with the passion that Biz Markee does on the seminal “Picking Boogars.” As he eloquently states in rhythmic couplets how we all do it each in every day one could be easily grossed out. While it is rather gross you find a person who doesn’t pick at their nose at all and not only will I show you a liar but someone who is NOT human.
While growing up I was not a treasure hunter I know I wasn’t the easiest to deal with in a nasal capacity. When my mother would say “Chad blow your nose” I would pretend blow and it would aggravate the green Hell out of her. Well, the gods have given me a taste of my own medicine with Ms. Cydney!
Cydney isn’t just anti-nasal, she just doesn’t like people in her face. If you linger for too long she will shove you away in a “Get the blankety blank out my face” manner. It’s a struggle to wash her face, apply lotion, and even get eyelashes out. But the worst is picking boogars whether they be nose or eye. Being that she’s a toddler who is wild, and spoiled by her father and others without maternal balance, she cries a lot which leads to lots and lots of snot. She will not let you clean it off either. Wiping off snot has a lot of moaning and moving ones face out of the way but it gets done. The laws of science tell us that this can eventually dry and crust up. I try to tell Cydney all the time “You have to let me wipe your nose, Cydney! No one wants to see a pretty girl with crust all on her nose, Cydney!” She’s not trying to hear it. Eventually I do it and she gets mad. Sometimes its a perpetual cycle in which cleaning her nose means she will cry and crying brings more snot. Either way it must get done. It’s still not the worst. The worst is of course is picking the big ones from deep within. They are a lot of work. After the really intense sessions Cydney usually tires herself out and is out right away.
In summation, poet lauriate Biz Markee was correct because I pick boogars every day. It’s a hassle but its something I have to do…