For all new readers, here is a link to the previous part of my story in losing my fiance and all that went on:,
The days after Timile passed away were interesting. While I was upset that I lost my partner I seemed to have spent more of my time consoling others over it. My experiences have made me quite self actualized to be barely 26 at the time. Even while writing these posts there is no trace of sadness at all. In fact I’m writing this listening to Mase’s Harlem World humming “Why you over there looking at me while my girl’s standing here!” So, I’m good and have been this was since December 10 last year.
I’d dealt with my grief in my own way and was able to tell others “Hey, it’ll be fine. God knew when He made her when He was going to take her.” It took me days to look on Facebook because I wasn’t ready for that. When I did, I saw literally hundreds of messages showing love and support. Some of Timile’s friends had started a page showing support for her while going through her attempt at healing. I did look at the page and just about everything about me was taken off. I was pretty insulted over that especially when I told the main person what was going on and they never wrote me back. I tried to warn them that Timile’s parents had it in for me and would hit them up to make a convincing argument. It’s alright because most of my peers haven’t had the life I have so its pretty easy to get caught up in the ongoing drama and not know better. If anyone is insulted by that I’m sorry but its the truth and I have no problem telling anyone that.
At that point I was relieved that the gloves could come off and the legal battle for Cydney could get as ugly as possible. If Timile died Friday morning on Tuesday I was getting phone calls from Timile’s family that had been cut off. One cousin Mike who I had got close with called and said “Look, you need to get to Virginia! Other family has told me that Timile’s parents are trying to adopt Cydney saying they don’t know where you are!” I called my lawyer and planned my trip to Virginia. I had no intentions of going to that funeral because frankly I knew it would be some bullshit. It wouldn’t have been what she wanted. She would have wanted her death to bring everyone together. Instead people were told they could not come because they took Timile away from them. Fuck. Outta. Here.
Timile’s godmother called me telling me that her and her mother went by the house to give condolences and support. Her father had told them that I was a loafer who was trying to live off of her and was applying to the wrong jobs AND that I was high all the time because they found a lot weed in the apartment. Fun fact: it was actually in Timile’s purse and was used for her chemo treatment to help her eat. Actually had nothing to do with me. But anyway. They also said that I just up and left Timile and Cydney. Her godmother and husband said that’s not true because I was just over at their house telling them what happened and was looking to them to also help me find work in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. Timile’s father then slipped up and said “Well I told him that he needed to leave if he wasn’t being a man taking care of his family.” Needless to say they were kicked out shortly after that. I had received similar phone calls from others saying that they were not invited to the funeral and the same kind of nonsense.
I spoke to my lawyer in Virginia and told him that I was coming down so that we could figure out our next steps in getting Cydney. He asked when did we move down there and I responded October. He told me I didn’t have to do anything in Virginia because Cydney was a New York resident until the end of April 2012. I was first informed to do everything in Buffalo because that’s where we were. I consulted a family lawyer in Eerie County, NY and was told that I can do everything in New York City since its all the same state. Sweet!
The NEXT day I went to juvenile and family court in Nassau County to apply for a DNA test. I filled out the paperwork and was going to file for motion to show cause which means its an emergency case and I could have a court date within two weeks. I was really relieved in how things had went down at that point because I had to sue Timile and her estate. Had she been alive I would be suing her and she would have had to show up in court and I would not have wanted her to have to do so or actually know about the paperwork because if anything that would have killed her.
Being that it was mid-December I had to hand everything in today otherwise I wouldn’t have a court date until late January due to the upcoming holiday. I left immediately and had an hour to fill make copies and get paperwork notarized. Well, that was easy because there was a bank next door and they had a copy machine at the courthouse. I came back later with everything filled out and tried to make the copies. I told them that the copy machine was broken and would not take my quarters. Being that I had told them the story, they just looked at me and whispered “Just give us the papers. We’ll make the copies for you.” This was awesome because in the office there are signs everywhere saying that they will NOT under any circumstances make copies for anyone. They were looking out for me BIG time.
They called me back that afternoon saying that the judge was able to look at it in time and that I could come back to pick up the paperwork. They were about to close so I went back the next day. I was informed that I needed to serve Timile’s family the papers by the 22nd and they had to show up. I looked at our court date: January 4. Perfect! That was Timile’s birthday and that court date showed that I meant business. All I had to do then was send in the summons to the Hampton Sherriff’s Department and they would to the rest and just wait for January 4.