In spite of everything that happened, 2011 wasn’t a bad year. It was rough and very trying. But it was only hard because I had to leave Timile behind. I ended the year cutting off all of my hair I’d been growing for six years and for a change I rang the new year at a friend’s in Harlem as opposed to in church like I always do. And that was fine because I was going into 2012 being different.
Going into 2012 I only had a few goals and the rest was just no expectations: 1) Get my daughter back. 2) My mom be cancer free. 3) Lose the weight I’d gained from stress eating. 4) Let go and not be so laid back all the time. Well, Cydney is with me, the other day the doctor found a little more cancer, I’ve lost 50 lbs, and those around me would say I’ve definitely changed and I’m different. So, all in all I’d say it was a success.
Going into this year I have no goals. Well maybe one or two that I’m keeping to myself for the time being. I told one of my best friends yesterday how much this reminds me of four years ago. Timile and I had broken up and she moved back to Virginia and I was in Atlanta. It really felt like the world was ending. I just remember praying in the cold and snow to myself thinking about the story of Ezekiel and how a valley of dry bones would mean no army. God told him to just believe in Him and those dry bones will live. Sure enough they did and victory was imminent. That’s exactly how the time felt. God told me “Yo, if this is something you want to make happen then prove it and I’ll see that I make things happen. (Yes, that’s how God talks to me).”
He was right and it meant putting in lots of work over the next four without really getting a chance to breathe really.
While everything is fine now, we all dive into New Years with expectations, goals, and fall right off the wagon a couple weeks in if that. It’s always gonna be something. But if you’ve read my story then you know its up to you to make things happen.