February 14, 2011: God and Cydney Had Other Plans (Extended Version)

Most of this comes from a note that I wrote last year on Facebook:

Cydney Moriah Milner wasn’t supposed to be born on Valentine’s Day.  Her due date was March 7, and Timile was considered full term in her pregnancy as of that day at 37 weeks and one day.  However, one thing that I’ve learned in all of this is that logistics mean nothing because God makes all timing.  I was really okay with this.  I love my Pices friends but I did not want one.  I was hoping she’d come early like around the 21st just to dodge that bullet.  

We had an appointment for a 37 week sonogram so that the doctors could have an idea of how big our little girl just might be.  Our appointment was at 12 noon and we wound up having to wait just a little bit.  We were looking forward to this appointment because Timile was sick and tired of being pregnant.  It wasn’t an easy pregnancy and we just knew that Timile would go back to normal once Cydney came out.  We were ready to go: we had a couple of names picked (Cydney and Peyton) and were waiting to see what she looked like to make our final decision.  We also were hip to the process since we had our Braxton Hicks situation a couple of days before. 

Anyway, around 1PM, we finally had the sonogram done and the doctor told us to wait for one moment.  They took pictures of Cydney and we got to see her face.  We were already lucky since the first sonogram pictures that were taken of Cydney in December was a clean picture of her face.  We had an idea of what she looked like and couldn’t wait to see what it looked like in person.  When the doctor walked out, we had no idea what was going on.  Usually when a doctor says “Wait, I’ll be right back,” they have to look at something and there may be an issue.  About five minutes later the doctor came back and told us that since our baby was in the lower tenth percentile in birthweight, and that they were going to induce her labor and that they’re waiting for us across the street at the actual hospital (We were in the doctor’s clinic which was adjacent to Winthrop University Hospital).  We both looked at each other in disbelief like “This is happening NOW!”  Before we could get really get all excited that the baby was coming today or tomorrow, the doctor said it could take about three days or so before Timile actually goes into labor. Once again, Cydney and God and other plans.

By 2:30, we were all set up and they had begun to induce the labor.  All we had to do was sit and wait.  Since we had no idea this would be happening that day we didn’t have the hospital bag in the car with us.  By about 5:30 Timile was sick and tired of seeing my face and was annoyed with me for no reason, I told her that I’m going to go and get the baby bag while she would be sleeping.  At the time she was dilated 2 centimeters.  Not enough to do anything but sit and wait.  I went to go get the baby bag and I went to Queens to go and get something else, but I don’t remember what.  I stopped at my granmother’s in which my mother and aunt were there.  Right before I could tell them anything, my aunt said she thinks Cydney is going to be born on the 18th, which would have marked the ten year anniversary of my granfather’s death.  I told them “Well actually, they induced labor and the baby could be here within the next three days.”  They all perked up but I told them to just wait and I would let them know what was going on when we had more details.  On the way back I was on the phone with my friend Donnell and we both just knew Cydney was going to come on the 15th.  He had a child born on that day so he said he really understood what that was like.

I got back to the hospital around 7:30.  Timile didn’t want me to breathe because I was getting on her last nerve.  So I just sat there while she tried to sleep and watched Scrubs on my laptop.  She was still three centimeters dilated.  They don’t take anything serious until you’re at least four centimeters dilated.     

10:45 came around the nurse came in for a checkup.  They said that Timile was five centimeters dilated and that it was almost time so they were going to get the epidural and set her up in the nice birthing suite.  We just knew that Cydney was going to be born n the fifteenth.  We moved into the birthing suite and got situated and at 11:18 as they were getting ready to administer the epidural.  The doctors looked down at Timile and said it’s time.  I said to the doctor “Time for WHAT?!?!?! The doctor said “To push.”  I looked and said “What you mean?”  After, Timile said she kinda already new and began concentrating on doing just that.  It was 11:20 at the time.  I think I called my mother and told her it was time to push.  Five minutes, two sets of contractions and three pushes later, Cydney was born at 11:25 PM.  I was the first one to see her.  After that last push and I saw her come out I was in disbelief.  A moment before that I was Chad who knew a baby was on the way but right after while everything felt the same, everything was different.  That little one right there was mine.

After making all of the phone calls and making sure that Timile was set up in her room I drove home and said a prayer for myself and my new family.  I prayed that God keeps His hand on my little girl and Timile and that He sees fit that they are both taken care of.  Looking back and knowing now what I did not know when I made that prayer is God may not have done things the way that any of us wanted to, but he did do just that.  Knowing the day that he brought Timile in and knowing when He was taking her back, I believe He made that clear to Cydney before she came to us.  He knew she wouldn’t make it and that Cydney will never remember her mother from her own active memory. He wanted to make sure that she knew she was loved by her mother and was made in love by Timile and me (Although we fought a LOT).  With that said Valentine’s Day is a lot more special now and while I may not be happy with how things have played out so far God and Cydney have other plans and so far neither one have ever disappointed.

Last year this time, I spent Valentine’s Day  in a house all by myself.  Timile had passed away.  Cydney was in Virginia with her grandparents as I awaited our March 1 court date knowing that I would be getting her back sooner than later but just had to wait.  It sucked.  I wouldn’t say I was completely sad.  I was just there and treated it for the most part like any other day.  However, both of my girls were on my mind.  I was thinking about how we shared that last Valentine’s Day and wondering what Cydney looked like at the time because I knew she’d got much bigger since I hadn’t seen her since November.

This year, I couldn’t be more excited to wake Cydney up knowing what day it is.  I don’t have any special ladies in my life (Well, maybe one or two exist but not in that capacity.), no dates, nothing to send out or nothing.  Valentine’s Days are very much different now because I got my one date every year until she’s about 14 and wants to start spending it with someone else (I will be DISTRAUGHT that day).  Until then, my funny little Valentine is my daughter.  The best gift I could receive.

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