A Dream About Timile

Timile comes to me in my dreams quite a bit.  Well, she used to.  She doesn’t so much anymore.  Usually when she does, she’s healthy, has a full head of hair and looks like the girl I thought was the finest girl on the planet.  Only once has she been in my dreams bald and sick.  I honestly don’t even remember that dream anymore.

Usually in my dreams we talk.  We talk about things that are going on and about Cydney.  The dream that was the most vivid was a dream I had over the summer.  We started off being in the first apartment we lived in six years ago.  One of my roommates still lived there and he showed us how much he’d changed the apartment around over the last six years.  He had the master bedroom, which was our room when we lived there.  It kinda made me a little annoyed because while this place looked the same it was different (I think that was the point). 

After that, we went out to dinner/theater place.  There was a play going on, but I don’t remember what it was about or anything.  The place was dimly lit and looked kind of old on the inside.  After the play we were still sitting there talking.  We were just talking about some of everything.  We were talking about Cydney at one point.  We we talked about her it was like I just had custody and she wasn’t around.  In this dream Timile was a little younger than she normally is in my dreams because her hair was really long before she’d cut it short, and was wearing an outfit that I loved when we were about 22 or 23.

As we were talking, the song that was playing in the background was Ghostface Killah’s “Jellyfish.”  Well really, it was just the track.  I think there was significance in that somewhere because the chorus starts “Here’s a little story.  Ghetto love situation. About this chick I met who had many temptations.  She was so fly, get high, well understood…”  Well, the track was playing and Mariah Carey was singing over the track.  As the song was playing, Timile started tearing up and began to cry.  I held her hand and began to well up too because I knew something was wrong.  She tearfully looked at me and said “I don’t want to go.  I’m scared!”  I told her I didn’t want her to either.  She said to me “One of us has to take care of Cydney.”

I knew what she meant.  It was leaving us having a good time in the dream as well as in the moment saying she didn’t want to leave Cydney and me by dying.  It was really sad.  Right after I woke up, I wrote out the whole dream and listened to Ghostface’s “Jellyfish” over and over and over again that day.  I wasn’t sad, but that was the realest dream I’d had about her.  It was like we really went out like we did back when.

I thought I’d share this story because I was listening to a playlist on my computer at random and Jellyfish came on.  I figured it’d be a nice little story to share with everyone as well.  While Timile is gone, she does cross my mind quite a bit.  As I write this, I just noticed that I don’t have dreams about Timile like that anymore.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I did.  It had to have been months ago.  Well, maybe that means something.

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