I’m twenty-seven years old. A seasoned adult but still adolescence seems like yesterday. It seems like yesterday my boys and I were holed up in my apartment doing studio sessions with dreams of making it in some variance of big and then going out partying or philandering. I think all of us are now either married or have kids.
As you get married and have kids your conversations for the most part change. Still being young some still have the young and single mindset and you don’t. Being that Timile and I were practically married since we were 21, most of my friends didn’t get it or understand the transition into not really hearing the salacious stories that come along with being in your twenties (I did, but you learn as a man not to do so in front of the Mrs. But even that changes).
I bring this up because two of my closest friends and my conversations have changed drastically. My best friend Brandon and I lived down the block from each other. We went to both high school and college together but became best friends in college. He’s now married and his son Andrew is a few months older than Cydney. I’m not exaggerating by saying that a good 80% of our conversations are about our kids, what they’re doing now/yours do that yet, what they watch on tv; 15% what we do when we don’t have the kids, 1% work, and the rest about whatever else. I never thought I’d see the day where two grown men throw around the word “cute” (In a manly way of course) so much. The same goes for my best friend from high school, Tre who has two sons age five and six.
My married friends, most conversations become vent sessions. Only the newlywed ones have happy stuff to say all the time. Those of us that know better just sit back and wait for that first “I can’t STAND ______” to laugh and let them know how them vows you took just got real. Us who are parents also love to hear the married ones talk about how busy they are and crack up laughing at how things will be when kids do come along.
Well, as a single parent I got a foot in one arena and one in the other. I still relate to the vent sessions (NEVER do one where they can hear you. Fire, and brimstone will come down second only to the Book of Revelations), and help the new guys out. So its interesting of trying to find balance between the two. And just loke in these conversations that’s exactly how it goes: kids first and almost all and then whatever’s left is for whatever else ensues.