Is Life Better

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2010

I was asked the other day by a friend of mine “Is your life better now than it was three years ago?” That was a loaded question. I didn’t know how to answer it. I said I guess so. Being that life goes on, I’m older, wiser, and a lot of other things I stand by that answer. These days, more is up in the air than when I was 24 as far as life is concerned but I’ve learned how to have and maintain peace of mind in the midst of it all.

Three years ago, I was living in Atlanta and I had an idea of what life had in store for me. Things were nowhere near being all good, though. While Timile and I were living together it was a tense time. We weren’t really seeing eye to eye on a lot of things and I just told her things will change, its just not our season. Timile saw someone she was talking to that she ended that situation for me get married and she felt a certain way seeing them off living the life she wanted and just due to the cards we were dealt, that wasn’t ours. The unrest got real and she began to resent me and once again question making the decision on our relationship. Its a hard thing trying to make nice to someone who loves you but you’re also the enemy. At one point she was even talking to a former NFL player thinking I didn’t know but it was obvious. That was hard and there were days when I questioned whether or not what we had needed to come to a close. All I could hear in my head was my good friend Kofi telling me to “Keep grinding. You got this!” Just thinking about that makes me laugh because that guy has had my back through some extreme adversity.

But, that’s exactly what I needed to do. Whenever my boy Kofi has reminded me to continue on a course that I thought ended he was and to this day had always been right. Timile and I were going through it. Really, it wasn’t until the day we found out Timile was pregnant that things began to change and whatever we thought were issues were petty. We were already a family but now we really were one. Once again, Kofi was right.

Years later, life is different. Much different. Last night, Timile was on my mind a lot. I found myself going through old pictures thinking the skinny girl I met when I was 19 became a beautiful girl, somehow I convinced her to spend her life with me, and man I’ve had to fight some people off because she really was a beautiful girl. I was thinking about the things we’d joke about and just running around Atlanta being young and in love.

You live and you learn. That brings me back to my answer to my friend’s question. I said to him yeah it is. I got my little girl, and there’s much more to do. More to accomplish and eventually whoever else I’m being prepared for. When Timile and I first started talking to each other and she told me about all that she’d been through I told her my sentiments on gold. It has to go through the fire, be molded, and then polished. It’ll melt but it doesn’t fear the flame. Of course I was alluding to myself, but I was right. And that’s the same here.

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