Parenting: The Evolution of Self Being Secondary


As well, this was another post I saw on Facebook that made me think about my life before and after becoming a parent.

While I am twenty-seven, I still enjoy a night or two of being out until 4am being out and about. Going out now is much more of an event because I don’t get to do so much. While most people my age enjoy happy hours, coming and going as they please, and the extra money in their pocket not taking care of someone else makes a world a difference. If I do go out, it requires some negotiation with family (or returning the favor), paying for something extra, and or I wind up being late because something has happened.

Had I not been forced into being single I really wouldn’t care too much. You come home, you see your family, you have a proper “me” time outlet, and all is right with the world. However, I’m somewhere caught between two worlds. A traditional twenty-something lifestyle and that are two different things. One is a lifestyle that is completely about yourself and the other is at best 10% about you.

Now, in no way am I complaining about any of this. It is simply a description of where I am at currently. I am much more of a homebody and I love it. My days consist of watching cartoons that can get annoying after hearing them in the background for hours but its all worth it because of how happy it makes Cydney. My idea of fun has mostly evolved into Hello Kitty, Dora the Explorer, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and The Fresh Beat Band (Which reminds me they will be on tour soon and I must look into tickets) in which I can and do sing along with all of the songs. And I actually have a blast doing so.

Becoming a parent has made me even lower maintenance than I was before. A lot of times Timile did not know what to get me for gifts because it didn’t take much to make me happy. At this point, if Cydney is great, then I’m great. Every once in a while I do need to get out and be a young adult and I try to do so. And doing so is important because the most valuable thing on earth is time. I can give Cydney all day everyday, but if I don’t recharge then spending 24/7 is null and void because I can and will not be able to give that same quality of time as I would have otherwise. How do I know?  I’ve done it.

The key is balance. I’ve spent a good portion of the last few years being terribly imbalanced without proper maintenance to myself. I’m trying to do better. I try to manage getting out once every other week, I take Cydney with me and head down to Washington DC once a month for a change of scenery; and per several requests when Cydney is asleep I fool around with my own music promising I’ll put something out just for fun as a hobby/outlet one of these days. Since I am doing these things a lot more, the time spent doing tea parties and tee ball with Cydney are that much sweeter.

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