Mother’s Day. I was talking to my mother the other day about it and she said she didn’t say that it was a big deal. I said to her “That’s a lie. As a parent, Mother’s Day is a step above work being cancelled for the day and a step below your birthday.” She laughed and said she guesses so.
Well, Mother’s Day isn’t the easiest day. While everyone including myself celebrates and mini-spoils their mom, for Cydney its just Sunday. She’s not old enough to do anything special or even remember her mother. We had one Mother’s Day as a family and that was it. I woke up from a very interesting dream that morning (Wednesday’s Post) that had me feeling a certain way and with Timile on my mind.
Mother’s Day is kinda become a benchmark day. Last year this time i had Cydney back for about four weeks and just how different it was having Cydney as a single parent and having gone through what we thought was the hardest part of my mother’s cancer battle. This past year, my mother has gone through even more surgery and is in the process of recovery once more.
As far as my life, I am used to it being just Cydney and me. I’ve started dating again if I’ve found someone interesting enough and find myself raising Cydney differently than how Timile and I had played. We had a lot we agreed on how we would raise our daughter but unfortunately some of that goes out of the window. But that’s just part of how this thing goes.
Around 10:30 AM, I got my first phone call. It was a friend of mine calling to me and saying “Happy Mother’s Day.” Because of who she was I said “I ain’t no one’s mama” in a jokingly tone. But I understood the sentiment. A few people had said in some kind of way the same thing basically acknowledging that I am playing the role of mom and dad. The way I’ve seen it is not really. I just be a dad. A mom is the hardest job and I am not built to be one. I try as much as possible to compensate by being a little more nurturing and such but really I just treat Cydney as a Daddy’s Girl and do mostly what I would have done had her mother been here and there were two of us raising her. I think this ideology comes from I’ve never liked it when single mothers take the credit for doing the same on Father’s Day. You can’t be a dad because you’re not made to be one and no matter how hard you try there is still going to be something missing. All in all, I have modified this because I understand. I really have espescially since Cydney has been saying to me over and over again “Happy Mother’s Day, Chad.” And it makes perfect sense.