Stevie Wonder-As

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As today I know I’m living but tomorrow 
Could make me the past but that I mustn’t fear 
For I’ll know deep in my mind 
The love of me I’ve left behind Cause I’ll be loving you always

My favorite Stevie Wonder song (other than Uptight-the ULTIMATE happy song) of all time. There’s something about songs written in the key of B major that I’m a sucker for.  I realized that sentence started similar to the name of the album, but nonetheless the collection of songs that make up Songs In the Key of Life is appropriately titled as well.  There are so many gems on that album that sum up what life, and love are about.  However, none of them if any at all sum up how unconditional love is like “As.”

I hadn’t listened to the song in a while.  It’s one of those songs I forget about in the midst of all of my rap music I listen to.  I think that works out because when it comes up on the radio or pops into my head to listen to it, its always a pleasant surprise.  I heard the song on the radio Saturday afternoon after a long day of Children’s Day fun at church.  All I could think about was the last time I’d heard the song before that.  It was a few weeks after Timile had passed away.  When I listened to it that day, I found myself playing it for about a good hour.  I switched back and forth between Stevie’s version and when George Michael and Mary J Blige covered it about ten years ago.  As it played and  I listened to it with all of my new life experiences, I began to well up.  No tears fell, but that was the only time I’d come close to actually shedding a tear about Timile’s passing.  As often as the other other day I’m asked have I every cried over Timile dying.  My answer is no and I’m usually asked how did I grieve.  Not until this morning did it hit mean that listening to this song at that moment was my moment.  There was no funeral, or grand moment in which it all hit me because I saw something of hers or anything; it was listening to a song that summed up exactly how I felt about her.

Until the day is night and night becomes the day—ALWAYS 
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away—ALWAYS 
Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4—ALWAYS 
Until the day that is the day that are no more

Listening to it right now to right this post doesn’t conjure up any feelings of sadness.  Even when I listened to it any other time do the same.  Its actually a feeling of peace.  No matter what happens in my life, I’ll love her the same way forever.  That doesn’t mean that whoever comes along next will get anything less.  Timile the person is a part of my past that has shaped who I am today and the only part of her that is an active part of my every day life is Cydney.  Even that is ever changing as Cydney becomes more and more her own person.  If anything she’s the little love letter I received from my partner who is only with us in spirit.  I will probably get married and have other children someday, but how I feel about Timile will not change.  It’s for always.

We all know sometimes life’s hates and troubles 
Can make you wish you were born in another time and space 
But you can bet you life times that and twice its double 
That God knew exactly where he wanted you to be placed 

so make sure when you say you’re in it but not of it 

You’re not helping to make this earth a place sometimes called Hell

For a long time I had no idea what Stevie Wonder was saying here.  When he gets all gruff, I have always had a hard time trying to understand Mr. Wonder.  I looked up the words and it gave the song context.  Our place in life, interactions, and even mistakes are not happenstance.  They aren’t coincidental at all.  Your moments of adversity are the experiences that shape us for whoever is next.  It’s always for someone else.  I look at my adult life and how hard a lot of it has been, but those times built character.  Sometimes, I wish I had an easier life but that wasn’t why God made me.  I’m pretty sure that if Timile could do her life over again, she wouldn’t change anything; not even dying young.  She always knew that her time here was short.  She knew she had a hard life.  But, her circumstances didn’t own her.  What she went through was her playing her role in God’s plan and is happy to have done so.  I think because of how she felt about me, that her life has given me purpose and shaped me into being a vessel somehow someway.  That in itself is a reason to be loving her always…

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