I’m still pretty young and my circumstances have made me more mature than most people my age. In no way do I think that I am superior because of this. I wish I wasn’t; but this was what was given to me. I think all the time when someone my age does something I think is incredibly childish and remind myself to have patience by saying “They’re only twenty-(insert any 0-9 here),” and if I wasn’t a single parent I would probably be the same way. Once again, the way that life has played out has me thrust in between two worlds of the being young and self-absorbed and the married-with-children life. Since the latter requires so much being patient as much as I try not to, I do not have much patience for the former.
The reality is that my time is incredibly important to me. The times I do spend hanging out are few, far, and between so do not waste it. I didn’t like my time wasted before I was a parent, but at this point in life it enrages me. “Do you know what kind of amazing shit I could be doing right now? The episode of Dora where Benny the Bull gets stuck in the volcano is on!” I can’t wait until a lot of my peers or people that I’ve dated become parents. I want to see how their language and outlook changes. Hopefully, most of them will not be single parents. However, there will be a night or two when their children are a little over two years old; asking questions, climbing all over you, trying the very last nerve you have while you cling on to that last shred of patience you do have but you have to hold on to it because the child is sick. That is the moment when my time will be appreciated because they’ll finally get it.
About a week ago, a friend of mine called me. They said that they were telling their best friend who was in town vacationing about Cydney and wanted them to meet her (Because as you all know Cydney is awesome). The original plans didn’t work out (which happens a lot with non parents which I also detest because I can’t improvise like that with children) so I met them in the city. I had my nephew with me as well. They had no real plans but to walk around the city anyway.
So, I made the trek to the city from Queens since I just happened to be out that way. We hang out and everything is cool. I pay attention to details and my surroundings. The friend’s face looked like it was lees than enthused to be around. I just sat on the side and let the kids play since that’s what I came out there to let them do (Not to mention that my friend was waiting to let their sibling into their apartment building). As opposed to going where they were going, I just decided to leave. The friend that was less than enthusiastic became quite sociable when the sibling was around and was having a fairly free flowing (Alliteration!) conversation with them. As we were getting ready to leave I told my friend and they said they would talk to their friend and see what was going on. They sent me a text back saying that their friend was sorry, that they had a good time, they were just ready to drink. I just wrote back, “I understand. I’m kinda ready to drink too.” being cool about it.
Not only was I beyond pissed off, I was offended. I was offended because those are my babies. I’ve never been around anyone who doesn’t want to be around them because they hang some of everywhere, they never interrupt what’s going on, and they’re quite entertaining. That gets an automatic “Fuck you, and have a nice day” in my book. I’m doubly annoyed because it was only 6 PM on a Saturday on Fourth of July Weekend. You got all night… ESPECIALLY since the reason I came out to the city was for Y-O-U! That’s beyond foul. I didn’t tell me friend how I really felt because I didn’t my first impression of their best friend to be a burden on them or a potential problem.
Once again, I found me saying to myself “They’re only twenty-six. They don’t know better.” Marriage and parenting teach you to pick and choose your battles very well. That’s something I still have to work on. I don’t pick any battles. I sit back and keep a cool head until I’m irked repeatedly. I say that because maybe I shouldn’t give so many passes for “You’re only twenty-____” so much.