Thirty Months/Two Years Ago


As of today, Cydney is two and a half. While it’s been a very long twenty-nine months and twenty-two days, swiftly it has flown by. After another night of watching Pitch Perfect and Cydney refusing for me to put her to bed, I’m up doing what I do just about every night: reflecting. Tonight, I am thinking about how my little girl is halfway through those terrible twos and what we were doing August 14, 2011.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer late July that year. While she was dealing with it in her own way, it was another heaping portion of emotion added to a plate that was already full and piled up for me. I wasn’t down. Hell, I hadn’t had a chance to even process it just yet because Timile was in the midst of changing chemo treatments, her grandfather had just died of cancer maybe a week or so prior, I had to work, and then there was Cydney. It was on the to do list to drive from Buffalo to New York to see my mother; I just didn’t have the time to do it and I think Cydney was in Virginia with her maternal grandparents.

As soon as Cydney returned to Buffalo, we decided we would go to New York. The drive was only hectic because Cydney cried through nearly the first half of the drive. It overwhelmed Timile, but I knew eventually she would pass out and things would go smoothly.

When we got to New York, I told my mother that I wanted to have a surprise six month party for Cydney. I knew it would mean the world to Timile if it happened. That Sunday we were going to leave we were running behind schedule. Timile was a stickler for structure and things happening a certain way. On the fifteen minute drive from my house on Long Island to my grandmother’s house in Queens, Timile was getting upset. I told her it would be fine, we just had to stop by and say goodbye.

When we got there, it seemed like every visit at first. Then Timile saw the party hats, the tiaras for her and Cydney and she began to smile. My aunt bought hats and favors that said happy first birthday on them and wrote “6 Months” on them. I still have two of the hats that Cydney wants to play with all the time and gets upset when I say “no” but that’s another story. We had the breakfast that Timile liked that my aunt made at four in the afternoon and then there was cake. We sang happy birthday, took some pictures, and headed on our way back to Buffalo. Cydney slept most of this trip so that made it an even more joyous occasion.

All in all, I’m glad that I made the call for us to have the party. Since Timile didn’t live to see Cydney turn one and I didn’t have custody yet, we had a chance to celebrate one birthday as a family. It was sweet and is something I’ll never forget. We don’t know what the future holds. But many times God makes things happen that give us opportunities have our moments if and when we do not down the road. Timile never got to do a lot of the motherly things because she was fighting for her life. However, before she was able to experience everything just once with the exception of Christmas. We moved to New York while she was pregnant and spent time with my family, we moved to Buffalo and she got to spend time with her extended family and Virginia for her to see her parents and brothers as well. It all worked out.

…and she got to see her daughter play in cake while donning a birthday and celebrate.

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