25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before the End of 2013

I saw the link to an article written by Ashley Wilhite on a friend of mine’s Facebook page.  I thought it was interesting and decided to give it a read.  Always one for self-reflection I thought that it would be good to give myself a decent look in the mirror and some decent analysis.  I think everyone should copy and paste the list and look to see where they stand as well.  Thanks Erin for the inspiration.


1. What am I most proud of this year? 

Cydney turning two.

What I’ve turned this blog into.  Readership in over ninety countries, an article in a major publication, being in a documentary, a scholarship, and getting paid to write.

2. How can I become a better father? 

Making more time for myself.  It’ll make me more patient.

3. Where am I feeling stuck?

Career-wise.  Tired of hustling.  I need that steady paycheck every two weeks to really make some things happen.

4. Where do I need to allow myself grace?

Everywhere.  I’m incredibly hard on myself.

5. Am I passionate about my career?

Yes.  I’m kinda in a transition here; but writing has been something that has always been a part of who I am since I was seven.  Being a father and music are my heart so yes.  I’m excited about where things will be going within the next year.

6. What lessons have I learned?

The most important lesson I’ve learned is to not fear being hurt.  People fear failure because it hurts.  I’ve believed this for a while, but I’ve made this a lifestyle in 2013.

It’s not about the money you spend doing things for others; it’s all about the time taken and the thoughts that went into what you do for them.

7. What did I my finances look like?

Broke Phi Broke. But yet I find a way to keep my bills paid and do the things that I want to do.

8. How did I spend my free time? 

What’s free time?  I’ll spend a little time in my studio working on music pretending I’m putting a project together.  When I get a chance to have a night off I like to spend time with a certain friend of mine.

9. How well did I take care of my body, mind, and soul?

I’ve lost about 25lbs in 2013.  Mind and soul have been in quite a bit of turmoil but I’ve kept peace by knowing that this season is about unrest and preparation for what’s next.

10. How have I been open-minded?


11. When did I feel most creatively inspired?

Depends.  When it comes to writing: in the morning.  Musically, in a group setting and at night.  I do my best writing in all capacities whenever things are either going great or when things are up in the air and I need to write them out.

12. What projects have I completed?

None.  Started an album that sounds decent but I get to it when I have inspiration.  I’ve spent most of the year preparing and setting up projects for 2014.

13. How have I procrastinated?

One of my biggest demons.  I thrive in organized confusion.  I’d be much more efficient if I did better managing my time.  Structure in general would be good.

14. In what ways can I re-structure my time?

Coming up with a schedule and sticking to it.  I make time for everything and anyone I want to so for the most part I get everything done that I want.

15. How have I allowed fear of failure hold me back?

Not being open and telling people what I really want them to know, how I really feel, or what I need from them.  

16. Where has self-doubt taken over?

It takes me a long time to ask for help.  As a cynical person I just assume people will say no and try to do everything myself.  In my personal life there was a time that I felt like I didn’t measure up to someone I was dating based on the kinds of people they dated before me.  Then I said “Fuck them and fuck that; I’m great.”  Moments of self-doubt usually lead to me being reminded that I’m awesome and an abundance of confidence.  Sometimes it’s needed.

17. When have I felt the most alive?

My birthday, November 22.  Telling someone I loved them…that works every time I do it.  It’s not as big of a deal as people make it out to be.

18. How have I taught others to respect me?

I’m not in the business of teaching others to respect me.  I carry myself in a manner that deserves respect.  If someone doesn’t want to comply then it’ll change quickly.  

19. How can I improve my relationships?

Being more honest.  I bite my tongue a lot.  I usually don’t say how I feel.  I’ll hold it all inside to avoid conflict and it seeps out in other ways.

Communication is not my strong point.

20. Have I been unfair to anyone?

Yes.  I’m unfair to one friend quite a bit.  Being cynical and based on our dynamic I think they’re quick to serve me bullshit.  I’m very unfair to them.  But it’s because I think the world of them.

21. Who do I need to forgive?

Not sure.  I’m pretty good about being forgiving and forgetting.

22. Where is it time to let go?

Good question.  Most of the people that are in my circle are good people.  I did a lot of letting go in 2011 and 2012.  2013 was quite lean.

23. What old habits would I like to release?

A lot.  One I will not talk about on here.  How I deal with stress needs to be overhauled in 2014.

24. What new habits would I like to cultivate?

Working out on a consistent basis.  Being proficient in Spanish again. Cydney potty training and reading before the spring. 

25. How can I be kind to myself?

Treat myself every once in a while.  Hire babysitters.

I have quite a few things to accomplish in 2014.  This year has been primarily about preparation.  2014 will be as well but differently.  I will be in a different place next December.

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