There are two people I relate to the most in the bible: Jacob and Solomon. Solomon was wise at a young age, and being to smart for his own good was his downfall (that’s the short version). I’m going to focus on why I relate to much to Jacob. Jacob was the youngest of fraternal twins. His name literally means “heel grabber” or “he who supplants” because in order to be born he literally grabbed onto the heel of his brother Essau. I’m the younger fraternal twin as well. Essau was the outdoorsman and Jacob more or less was the quiet one. Most of my friends who know me are in disbelief when I tell them that between m sister and I that I am the laid back and mellow one. While I am outgoing, I’m the quiet person who stands out in a corner somewhere. It’s not until I warm up to people that it’s known how much I have the gift of gab. Very seldom do I feel like I need all eyes on me. I’ve always been one to focus my attention on the one or two I want to pay attention and manipulate the circumstances for that to happen. Quiet and cerebral.
Because Esau was the oldest, in theory he was supposed to receive his birthright from their father Issac. Jacob’s mother felt otherwise. Issac being blind, Rebekah deceived her husband and Jacob was given the birthright. It’s as if Jacob and his mother both knew that there was something that he was worthy of and deserving, but it would require guile and tenacity to get what was rightfully his. I feel like this often. I don’t know what it is, nor do I think that I am better than anyone else. Intuitively I have an idea of something I was put here to do.
After realizing what happened t he’d sold his blessing to his brother, Esau vowed to kill Jacob when their father died. Jacob had to flee and leave everything he knew behind. In the last couple of years I’ve felt like I have had to flee whatever I was before. In what seems like the desert or wilderness going from place to place trying to make things happen out of nowhere has been my adult life particularly the latter part of my twenties. Not fearing the wilderness, Jacob heard God speak to him. He’d seen the ladder to the gates of heaven. I’m sure he was unsure of why he was seeing all of this. He got married and had children. He lived and made due.
Jacob was heading back to Canaan, where he was originally from. Knowing that his brother was still looking to kill him he’d sent gifts and his family ahead of him and stayed on the other side of the river that night. He was approached by a mysterious man and they wrestled all night. Jacob knew who it was and vowed to wrestle with God and demand a blessing. Jacob was so stubborn and unwilling to bend to this that the angel touched Jacob on his thigh. Jacob would have a limp the rest of his life but that still wasn’t enough. By daybreak, God told him that his name was no longer Jacob, but Israel.
We all know the story for here. If you don’t here’s the really abridged version. Israel had twelve sons that became the twelve tribes. One son’s name was Judah. Judah’s family line consisted of a man named Boaz who married a woman named Ruth. Boaz and Ruth’s grandson’s name was Jesse. Jesse’s youngest son was a boy named David who killed a giant and became king. If I’m correct, twelve generations later from that lineage came a man named Joseph. Joseph was the father to Mary and we just celebrated his birth December 25th. The bible is literally is the story of one family.
I’m not a stubborn person. In fact, only one person in my life has ever called me so and that was months ago (they said it again about two weeks ago but whatever). In fact, I’m the opposite. I’m often too compromising. I’ll often sacrifice what I want or what I need for the sake of others. I think this laid back approach can be detrimental to me as well. I think I approach prayer this way as well. I’ll pray to God for things that I want, or wanted to be blessed, say “God have your way” and pretty much leave it alone. I’ll still work towards what I’ve prayed for but I leave it up to God. If I want certain blessings from God I have to be willing to wrestle Him for it. Be a pest. Let Him know “Yo, I’m not backing off on this until you make this happen.” I really do talk to God like that. I or you can’t be afraid of if wrestling with God in such a manner will injure you. Israel was much happier walking around with that limp and his blessing than just being Jacob and the life he could have had.
One of the things friends of mine have said is that one of my best qualities is that no matter what I make things happen. There’s no amount of work that I won’t put into whatever to get what I need or what I want. There aren’t too many people that will work as hard as I will to make what is a thought or a vision come to fruition. Only God saying no and literally shutting the door in my face is when I back off.
…Well maybe I am stubborn then. To my friend who said I am you’re right. I’ll chill when I get that blessing and limp with pride.