Love is “Frozen” and My Take on Disney’s Warped Stories of Love

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Last weekend when I went to the barber shop I ran into an old lady selling bootleg DVD’s.  I figured why not skim through what she has because I just knew she had Disney’s Frozen.  Ever since Cydney first saw it about a month ago, she has been talking about Frozen non-stop.  When it snowed outside she would as if I wanted to join her in her Frozen World.  One time Cydney said to my sister that she loved her.  My sister asked Cydney what is love and she responded “Love is Frozen!”  My sister asked me what that meant and I told her that it was a Disney movie.  I hadn’t seen it so I didn’t really have a clue what it meant either.  I just assumed that as a film made by Disney that love was somehow the theme of it.

Since I bought this DVD nine days ago I’ve seen Frozen about twelve times.  I never pay attention to the whole movie.  This right here is a tip in advanced parenting:  Never fully pay attention to the something the kids watch repeatedly.  Since you have to see it over and over again you’ll find something new each time you watch it (brilliant, right?).  I think the second or third time I watched the movie I was half sick and asleep.  I woke up just in time to head the living snowman, Olaf explain to Ana what real love was (Ana doesn’t know what real love is but I don’t want to give spoilers for those who might care).  Olaf said “Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours…”  That made me pause for a second.  The Olaf the snowman is standing in front of a fire and is beginning to melt because he said he was staying to help Ana.  She tells Olaf to go because he’ll die and then he responds “Some people are worth melting for.”

Man, those two lines had me all kinds of in my feelings.  There’s another quote that made me feel a certain way as well: “You are lucky it wasn’t he heart [that was frozen] .  The heart can be tough to change.  But…the mind can be tough to persuade.”  These little children’s movies say some deep things in them.  What Cydney was trying to say now made a lot of sense.

I think sometimes Disney movies do a little too much.  They give this idea of a fairytale love where things work out perfectly in the end after lots of adversity and a prince or prince-like character proves himself worthy.  I’ve talked to a lot of women who said that while they loved Disney Princesses (and all have a favorite one) feel like these movies let them down.  They’ve all wanted some man to treat them like they’ve seen in these movies and it be magical or something.  I’ve dated a couple of women who have said some variance that Disney lied and these aren’t real.

The dad in me wants to believe that Disney Princesses are real.  One day that’s what I want for my Cydney.  I will teach her as much as I can to keep the villains out of her life, but that’s what I want for her.  I obviously believe they’re real: I’m Princess Man.

I think these movies are designed to give little girls something to look up to.  They leave out the details of all of the work that is required after said prince and princess fall in love.  With the exception of Bambi and The Lion King, they leave out the details of how real things can get.  They do what parents do every day: they shield children from the hurt that comes along with life.  We do this so that our child has a stronger foundation and experience with hope that the hurt cannot last long term.

Back to the quotes:  these quotes reminded me of one girl I’ve dated within the last two years.  They were one of them that said that Disney lied to them.  They swore up and down that this didn’t really exist.  However, when I would hang out with them at their their place I noticed that they had a bunch of these movies.   They even one of those name drawings you can have made for you by a street artist in Manhattan that had the Disney Princesses all around it.  What I saw was a cynical person who wanted nothing more than to be shown that someone thinks she’s amazing.  That’s not a negative thing.  In fact it’s something we all wanted deep down.  I could see it in how she’d talk about certain topics that some villain had frozen their mind like in the movie.  I say the mind and not the heart because  she’d still show signs of hopefulness and an unconscious theme of wanting to be loved was prevalent.    I’d put quite a few of her needs before mine and play it off like nothing.  Because nothing else worked, I would do some fairly over the top things to fulfill that need and even just because the dad in me even wanted her to believe that Disney Princesses are real (Fathering a daughter with no mom to do some of this for me has made me a sap).  Watching Frozen made me think I should give her a call.

As I’m writing this, Frozen is playing on Cydney’s TV for the third time this morning and fifth time in twelve hours while she’s sick.  I think I see a part I haven’t noticed before.

 

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