I’ve been in my feelings a lot these days. I didn’t quite have the words to articulate in written form all that was going on. We all need that break sometimes. There’s still a lot going on these days and the stress is still piling up, but I’m okay.
I haven’t been writing as much as I normally do over the last month because I’ve needed to process some things and figure stuff out. I also didn’t want to bombard you guys with a myriad of depressing stories of the sadness and all of that. However that’s the season that I am in and makes all of this a part of the adventure.
Being as much into my sorrows as I’ve been these days I’ve had a couple of friends who have really held me down these few days. My friends Kofi and Donnell have held me down in a manner that rivals gravity these last few weeks. I’ve spoken about these two before. Kofi has been a great friend in my times of need for a good seven or eight years now. (Trying to think of how to word this) I’d told him some news that was ultimately the straw about to break my back. I can’t go into detail what about, but I told him that I thought something just might be on its way to ending and right when even more news made me think to re-evaluate some things he just stopped me and said “Look, man you’re Solo! If anyone makes things happen it’s you!” (Note: everyone from my music days refer to me as Solo). Donnell would confirm some of the same sentiments. I know I can rely on those two to really tell me how something is, tell me not what I want to hear, and overall just keep it all the way real with me.
I try not to step on toes and am often one to sacrifice what I may need to please others and not put much more on their plate. Donnell called me Wednesday morning just to check up on me. I told him the place that I was in mentally and emotionally-withdrawn, anxious, and a little depressed-and he told me in his Charleston dialect “Seigh breh you need to be selfish right now. Stop playing around and call ya friend up!” I didn’t want to bother said friend because their life has been beyond hectic. Kofi confirmed that sentiment as well. To make sure that I actually did so, Kofi sent me $50 and said that because he gave the money I better do it and spend it on them.
I listened. They both wound up being right. They just about always are. Everyone needs people in their corner to remind them of who they are and give them that extra push then they’ve needed it. Donnell was my homie I would vent to and give me pretty good marriage advice. I remember one time I was in mid-conversation venting to him about Timile outside of our apartment. She came outside and said “Are you talking about me?!” It was about to go down and it did. Kpfi has done some of everything from just being the the Mickey Goldmill to my Rocky Balboa. One his own he hustled up the $250 for me to take the GMAT exam.
I just wanted to thank the two of them for that and for everything that I didn’t say publicly to me readers I can assure you that when the time is right I will have nothing short of an incredible story to tell. Kofi and Donnell and making sure that I do…