I haven’t posted anything today because I have been going back and forth on what to say and how to write this…I think I’m gonna keep it short.
I took Cydney to “Once Upon A Dish,” a shoppe where once can paint all kinds of ceramics-for themselves or as gifts-to craft something for my mother and sister for Mother’s Day. When we got there she said that she wanted to make something for someone else who she has said to me repeatedly is an “honorary mother to her.” When she first said it some weeks ago it resonated with me. My daughter knows what a mommy is, she knows hers isn’t with us anymore, and yet she feels and loves someone enough to think of them in that fashion. I thought it was beyond sweet. Cydney confides in me all of her true feelings and as brazen as she may be is very shy. When I asked her why did she feel that way she didn’t say much and just began to ramble on about something else. If she is in a public forum that’s how she handles it. When she wants to just let someone know how she feels she will coyly whisper it in their ear and then play it off like she’s never said anything.
I felt really conflicted. If this is how my little girl feels about someone for the sake of building her up I should let her express it. On the other hand, I know the dynamic between all parties involved and I’m wary of how much this could further blur lines in all of our eyes. Ultimately I let her do it. If things go a certain way I will take one for the team because Cydney being able to express herself freely if more important than anything else.
Cydney ran up to her, gave her the gift, and said “Happy Mother’s Day.” She smiled and she loved it. Cydney whispered something in her ear signifying that it’s something important but she’s too shy to say and that was that. As we walked off she beamed overjoyed that she’d done so. She then told me something she wanted the three of us to do and then asked what’s up with us…
I’m gonna end this here.