What Fatherhood Means To Me

Father’s Day is on Sunday. I’ve been beyond busy writing this book and dealing with life that I haven’t posted much here. I shared a rough draft of one of the essays yesterday. You should read it because I wrote it.

So with Father’s Day coming up Sunday I know I’m not getting what I want. I wanted to see Outkast perform at Governor’s Ball in New York last weekend and it didn’t happen. How it didn’t happen was beyond wack as hell but whatever. Other than that I’d like a day off. Not in the cards and I know Cydney is going to want to be attached to my leg all day. A trip to the beach and just getting a chance to be lazy would be nice, but at this point that too has a 50% chance of happening.

That’s being a father. Your role as protector and provider isn’t something you learn, it’s instinct. Being a father is a thankless job. Most of the things that we do go unnoticed because we make it seem effortless. You work all day and the look of what is really stress just seems like dad’s normal face so kids are desensitized to it. I don’t complain because I know my role as a man in the lives of the ones I love is that if servantude.

Being a father is about sacrifice and making it look seemless. I’ve been getting my hair cut once a month or every other month to save money to do little things like buy B’Donalds (ss Cydney calls it) as an after school snack or something like that. My money that I was saving for a car went towards paying for daycare, Easter, Cydney’s birthday party, and making Mother’s Day special with gifts for my mom, sister, and who Cydney has deemed her “honorary mom.” I’m happy to have done all of those things because making everyone else’s life just a little bit brighter makes me feel good.

I am writing this from my phone while receiving physical therapy at a chiropractor. On Saturday I got into a car accident while taking Cydney to soccer. We were late but I had to make sure Cydney got there to for her last day and I wanted to make sure Neighbour got her gum that she asked for. They seem like really small things that I’m paying for in the long run but that’s what I signed up for.

Being a father is about making time when you don’t have it. I’m never too busy for my daughter or loved ones. If there’s 168 hours in a week and I worked 90, slept 50, and commuted for 20 of them that still leaves eight for everything else. I’ll get my day off rest when I need it and I’ll dream my big dream of “me time.”

So yeah, Sunday will be like the one before it and the one before that. I’ll get my happy Father’s Day calls, texts, and such. But I’ll still be asked a million questions from kids and that too. I’m happy to do that. And Sunday night when everyone is asleep I will have a drink to myself and get ready to do it all over again Monday.

Happy Father’s Day

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