If You Could Describe Yourself in One Word…

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Just now I posted this picture to my Insragram. That’s who I am. Uncompromisingly forthright and for the most part I unapologetic for being this way.

I either sugarcoat the hell out of things or I keep it too real. I care too much about how others feel so I’ll either tell them what they want to hear, say what I really want to say in a nice way, or I come off like an unexpected punch to the stomach. I wouldn’t say that I lack empathy, I just internalize the feeling because I don’t know how to express it. Some may say that I’m aggressive, I’m an asshole, or being inconsiderate of one’s feelings when I am. However, what no one can say about me is that I’m dishonest.

For the most part, people associate blunt with having a negative connotation. Not necessarily. My being this way makes me hilarious. I throw around one liners with random references and my friends can’t help but laugh because I’m normally saying something that is true or I’m asking the question many are afraid to ask…but they’re thinking it. I’ll address the proverbial elephant in the room in a light hearted manner. If I can make you laugh I can earn your trust. Once I’ve earned your trust my being honest makes me loyal. One can trust I’m going to give objective advice and love unconditionally because there’s no hiding.

The truth is that if I am frank with someone that means I hold you to the highest regard. I respect and see you as someone who can handle the truth. On a deeper level, I am revealing who I’m: guarded. I am blunt because by nature I am a very shy person. I hide behind my sense of humor and wit because it’s my wall. How people respond allows me to extrapolate how they will act in extreme circumstances and I know where to place them in my life. I’m reactive so my facade of sarcasm gives me an avenue to assess one’s character and personality. I’m looking for the unconscious knee-jerk response in which people reveal who they really are.  My defense and coping mechanism is also a simple psychological test. Because I’m reading body language, looks in one’s eyes, the speed or lack of response to a text message I’m always right. No, I’m always right. I can’t be hurt by someone who revealed who they are and they didn’t notice it. With that said, the way that I use being blunt isn’t aggressive; it’s passive.

In friendship, my direct approach is what makes me a good friend. I have a friend who had one foot in the door and one out in a relationship. She loved her boyfriend dearly; she wad just afraid to fully allow herself to fall in love. When they would get together and drink she would often get into fights and the insecure teenage girl would come out. So she was en route to to visiting him and was looking forward to it. I told her she’s going to have a good time until she’s had a drink and get mad at him about it. She said “You’re just going to pull my card like that?” Yes. What I did was tell her without telling her was to keep in mind this pattern of behavior because it could potentially be a hindrance on their relationship. Sure enough it happened. But she was aware of the pattern and was able to make what could have been a breakup a teachable moment. For the most part, people don’t like blunt behavior because it holds a mirror of one’s self up and they have to face their own fears, phobias, and shortcomings. The other side of that is that while one may be mad at the messenger they are on the road to self – improvement which is much easier to do when you have someone to be there with you. And that’s where the loyalty kicks in. I also treat people how I want to be treated: be honest with me. The truth may hurt but it’ll also set you free.

In love I’m the opposite. I don’t communicate at all. I’ll let a few infractions slide and then comes “Where keeping it real goes wrong.” I’m very forgiving so I usually get over being hurt very quickly. Yet, I’m going to hold one accountable and eventually once things have blown over I will say “Hey, this hurt me feelings.” Well, it doesn’t always come off that way and even when it does a fight usually will ensue.

Accountability is the reason I am blunt. In being loyal I’m going to let someone I care about know how they affect me so that they are aware of their actions. It is never for a guilt trip and for the most part it isn’t for me. In fact, the being direct is so that they are conscientious of how they treat others. Why? Because as a jerk I should be able to take what I dish out.

I’m also blunt with myself. I constantly put myself under the microscope in an effort to continuously tweak my own shortcomings. I’m actually my harshest critic so I welcome such honesty to strive to be the best person that I can be.

I love that I’m blunt. I owe my successes to it. No matter how compelling my story may be; what has made me good writer has been that I do so candidly. And to be frank I have the numbers to back that up.

…for the sake of humor I left the informal definition of blunt being a hollowed out cigar for marijuana purposes intentionally.

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