My Life in 100 Songs: I Do by Jeezy f/ Jay Z and Andre 3000

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I first heard Andre 3000’s verse a year and a half before the song’s official release. The sentiment generating a relationship out if thin air and actually wanting to spend the rest of one’s life with someone was a new concept for our peers and us. My friends and I were in our mid-twenties so it was the beginning period of our lives where everyone we knew were starting to get married. Of course, Timile was the person I wanted to marry.

When Timile came home to our suburban Atlanta apartment I immediately played the song for her. I always knew we were having a daughter. Three Stacks couldn’t have summed up the way I felt about Timile and our baby-to-be who we had already decided her name would be London.

I had another song I was going to write about today. But I hadn’t gotten to it and on my way home from work, “I Do” popped up on my playlist. The first thing that I thought about was the scene depicted above. The second was me thinking about questions I have been asked repeatedly: 1) Would you want more children? 2) Would you get married again? And 3) What would make doing it all again different?

Of course, I’d do lots of things differently. I would love to have more children as well.

What would be different? Whoever I marry. Due to circumstances, there are parts of the process I have yet to experience. While I had a ring picked out, I couldn’t afford it, so I have never got down on one knee and ask someone to marry me.

I’m a Sagittarius; so I am committed to not being committed. I love to roam and heavy my freedom to do whatever I please. In theory, I’m ready to settle down. However, I’m not quite there, yet.

It’s funny how five years ago this song made me feel very differently. Before, it conjured thoughts of matrimony and all that this particular song is about. These days it makes me think of all menial and ceremonial aspects of commitment. I have lived all the vows one responds to with “I do,” and doing so again would require being nothing short of an amazing. Not because said woman would have big shoes to fill; I’m just different.

Have I felt this way about someone since December 2011? Yes. But neither of us was ready. One day someone will make me an offer I can’t refuse and I’ll be ready to live these vows again.

Until then, I have my own “Love .22” to raise. Who will love books, and cook, just like whomever I marry all while she looks just like her mother. And maybe in 2030 our baby will be nerdy, and maybe the whole club swoon.

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