While sitting through my nephew’s elementary school Christmas show I decided to be #TwitterFingers and give a play-by-play commentary of the events as they happened. I had to entertain myself through this situation because most of the show was a waiting game until my guy was onstage. Three days later, I had to do it all over again, because it was Cydney’s turn.
Preschool shows are a little different than elementary school ones. There aren’t as many expectations. One expects their kids to do very little and look cute while doing it. Nonetheless, you have to sit through it to see your kid wait their turn to do so. As a musician, I am mentally prepared to hear 99.9% of the children and the notes that they sing to be off-key. As my father said to me yesterday morning, “There’s always hope until you hear the first note.” That was arguably the realest quote I have heard from my father regarding music in all of my thirty years alive, being around it, and ultimately communicating primarily through it.
Cydney Milner is a fucking star…there’s no other way to say it. It is what it is. Yes, she’s my daughter and all; but even if she wasn’t, I would loook at her on that stage and think “That kid right that right there has that “it” factor.” This show was no different.
It was a little sentimental sitting through it. This will be the last child in our family coming through that preschool for some time. I didn’t live in New York when my nephew first started there at least six or seven years ago. However, I did live here when he started his final year; in the same classroom and with the same teacher Cydney currently has. I didn’t think that Cydney or I would be in this place, in New York, and especially without her mom. As I assistend in the clean-up, the director of the school said to my mother and I “This is the last one! Chad, you gotta have another one soon!” I’m getting a lot of that these days.
Enough of the anecdotes, here are the tweets of my first final experience through a Pre-K Christmas show.
Cydney's Christmas Show (@ Elmont, NY in Elmont, NY) https://t.co/cVFKUL4eK1
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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The eighteen month-2 year olds up first.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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They just be looking.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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We got one little crier. I have a much higher tolerance for this than elementary school shows. This shit is adorable.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Teacher: Jump! Kids: *stand and look* Parents: *Whoop, holler, and cheer*
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Grandpa didn't get the memo to not give his grandchild a five right after he performs.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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I aspire to be that old guy who gives zero fucks.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney's up.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cyd sees me in the second row. I give her a wink and she winks back.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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THAT'S MY MUTHAFUCKIN KID SPELLING THE SHIT OUTTA CHRISTMAS!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Okay…I'm back.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Had to tell a little boy to move over because he was in the way of me getting pictures of my kid.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Wayment…they're doing the same exact show from last year!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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*proceeds to read article on phone about Pusha T and Drake possibly going at each other while the three year olds perform*
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney's class did this way better last year.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Crier count: 3
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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*reads article about Da Band and where are they now*
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney byke…
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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My daughter got rhythm!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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The teacher was playing the song the children are performing from her phone. …the phone rang. Twice. They had to start from the top.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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The kids are now shouting the words.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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We have a brief intermission because someone is coughing. Now another kid is coughing for attention.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Outbreak is happening right now.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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They're doing another number…I'm overwhelmed.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Someone's mother pulls her child off the "stage" to fix her son's outfit. Now he's not onstage for the next number n he's in the way of Cyd
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney got a solo!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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It was a duet of "Let It Go" like last year. But now she's the older kid.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Teacher: Cydney's graduating this year. Me: *in my head* You muthafuckin RIGHT! SING THAT SHIT, CYD!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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So it's all quiet while Cydney and the other little girl are singing. And of course I have to yell "Go, baby!" And everyone laughs.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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They know the star's father is the big guy in the front with his hat on backwards in the little ass chair.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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3-4 year olds performing "Hello Reindeer" like last year.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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And now they sing "Feliz Navidad" for the Spanish kids.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney looks all Spanish until you see her next to real Spanish kids.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney is blacktina…
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Criers: 4
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Cydney and two other girls sang "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" with Rockett kicks and all.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Shout out to my kid for being a real one and picking out a wedgie mid-performance and not missing a step.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Toddler fashion show…just like last year.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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There was a kid crying through my kid's song. I wanted to kick him.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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I sneeze into my arm and a little kid sitting in front of me turns around and smiles in my face. I hate anything in my face.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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…well there's one exception.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Criers: 6
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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My nephew is bored and playing a video game on his phone.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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This three year old in a red and black outfit came out and started throwing gang signs. I think he saw my royal blue hat.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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This is the longest fashion show of all time.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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That number was cute.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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😩
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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…is this over yet?
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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To think of it, if Cydney is four, I have at least 13 more years of these to sit through. Even longer if I have other kids.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Final song!
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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And the show is over.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Criers: 8
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Someone's parent smells like weed.
— Chad Milner (@Psolo4Short) December 18, 2015
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Single Dadventures 