#Formation: Beyonce Gave The Valentine’s Day Blueprint

 

Valentine’s Day is this week.  Up until last night, everyone was figuring out what to do and how to make the day special, and then Beyonce came through and told almost everyone how to spend it and spend theirs on it: on Beyonce and to say that it was marketing genius was an understatement.

On Saturday afternoon, I two things woke up from my post-taking Cydney to soccer nap.  I first heard my daughter and nephew yelling in the middle of play; but I have all but become an expert in ignoring that.  Then a sound on my phone set off a notification that I rarely hear, so it was easy to pay attention.  It was Tidal informing me that the almighty Queen Bey had released a video and that I should watch it.  I justify my $10-per-month Tidal subscription because it is the only platform that has Prince’s whole musical catalog -but no Rave U2 The Joy Fantastic, which is worth me unsubscribing-and that in itself is worth listening to an hour a month for $120.  So outside of Prince, I felt like it was fiscally responsible for me to check this video out.

“Formation” was masterfully executed, edited, and a bag with hot sauce in it.  The video was unapologetic in its blackness and there are 1,413 thinkpieces writing about it as we speak.  She sat on a cop car in post-Katrina New Orleans and flashes of the natives ice grilling the camera.  I felt like I had seen this music video before…

 

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I went on the various platforms of social media to see how people responded to it.  My mind’s first reaction to all stimuli is to find the humorous undercurrent and then to point it out.  I was more than entertained by all opinions.  There were a few quotable lyrics; but one stood out more than the others: If me f*ck me good, I might take his ass to Red Lobster.  I’ve had my fair share of pre and post coitus trips to the IHOP of sea food; and there is no carbohydrate on the planet that can prepare or replenish your body properly like cheddar bay biscuits.  If you’re smart, you get a to go bag for the second round.

The nod to Red Lobster and the one about keeping a bottle of hot sauce in one’s purse (now that I think about it, I’m almost shocked I didn’t see the argument of Frank’s vs Texas Pete vs Louisiana happen at least once), and felt like there was something to this.  About five minutes after I saw the video, Bey’s site had merchandise with all of the catchy phrases on it, already.  She and her team already knew what the masses were going to fall in love with.  This is all occurred approximately thirty hours before Bey was set to perform at the Halftime Show of the Super Bowl.

Right after Beyonce performed, there it was…the #Formation World Tour.  Tickets go on pre-sale February 9th and go on sale the 16th.  Everything had clicked and the marketing strategy was reminiscent of what Denver’s pass rush to Carolina’s o-line.  Beyonce Knowles-Carter had given the blueprint for Valentine’s Day: Fuck flowers, candy, and all that traditional Valentine’s Day shit.  Payday is Friday.  Pay your mid-month-utility and cable-bills, go out to eat at a reasonably priced establishment in which there are at least three within a ten-mile radius, and then spend your tax refund on tickets for the summer…all while giving the finger to Sallie Mae and your student loans.  There’s no need to over-think Valentine’s Day this year, baby.  The work has been done for you.

None of this has any bearing for me.  Cydney turns five on the fourteenth and for once in forever, I’m not dating or involved with anyone.  However, I will admit that Beyonce puts on a great show.  I took someone to the One the Run tour with Jay Z and it was a great show, so I highly recommend going to see it.  The New York show is at Citi Field in Queens.  There is plenty of parking, multiple highways to get out of as well as local streets for traffic flow, the 7 train and the LIRR.  LaGuardia Airport is two exits away, also…so you can fly in for the show, take a cab, and then get right back on a plane to go home.  If I’m seeing someone between then and early June, I’ll see what StubHub got going for me and make it happen.

Oh, and by now, you should have used the credit card to buy the merch so that it can be delivered to your place of residency by Saturday.  If you really want Red Lobster, have the merchandise shipped to her place of work on Friday to make everyone at work jealous.  Thank you, Queen Bey and you’re welcome to those who I’m connecting the dots for.

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