Half-Past Thirty


While writing yesterday’s post, I looked at the date in the bottom-right corner of my laptop and noticed the date: May 23, 2016.  I was six months and one day into being thirty.  As of November 22nd, I will no longer be thirty; I’ll be in my thirties.  This doesn’t scare me at all.  In fact, I’m enjoying it quite a bit.  One hundred eighty-three days into it and I’m already preferring my thirties over my twenties.

For the most part, the theme for the past six months has been acceptance.  For those who are not there yet, here’s a microcosm for the first digit in your age being a 3: I go to the gym to work on my chest and triceps…only to leave with my knee aching for no reason.

The first lesson of acceptance I have learned is that my body is no longer my greatest asset; my mind is.  I can lift obscenely heavy weights, dunk, and if I felt like it, run two miles.  However, my body needs to rest and recover.  If I am going to physically exert myself, I have to plan and rest accordingly.  While there are and will always be new things to learn, almost everything that comes my way is based on my life’s experiences.  I am aware that all of my actions directly affect others.  Living in the present it cool; but it’s not reality.

Almost nothing goes according to plan and for good reason.  This is something that happened all-too-often in my twenties.  However, at this point in life, I am more apt to shrug off a less-than-desired outcome as opposed to getting frustrated to the point in which I can’t function.  Life is no longer a place of ideals.

Three days before my thirtieth birthday, I was informed that my boss’ boss was terminating my contract due to budget cuts.  In the moment it sucked; but it has been a blessing in disguise, even if I’m not making as much money as before.  It was just a job and this writing thing is a career.  Some places that I have written for have been absorbed by larger companies, some have temporarily and permanently folded.  This has caused me to be a little more creative and begin to prepare for the next part of my life.  While the first draft of one book is complete, I am toiling away at my first release.

No longer do I feel torn between two worlds.  I’m a suburban, Long Island dad and I love it.  Four out of seven days of my week consist of some kind of practice or game my children are participating in.  While I love to have some time to myself and philander in the bright lights of the city that never sleeps, I am finding myself to have less and less in common with my friends with no children who attend happy hours on a regular basis.  But at this age, I know that I still have and need a little of both.

One of my largest acceptances in the past few months has come in the form of my nephew.  For the longest, I felt weird looking at my guy as something more than my twin sister’s son.  A part of me would feel slightly uneasy when he’d refer to me in some capacity as a dad.  I have and I’m raising two children.  To be honest, it feels as if everything else in my life has begun to fall into place as soon as I have stopped resisting this.  I’ve had a peace and happiness that I didn’t before.

I have a feeling as if the next six month will be mostly preparation.  There’s a heir of life is going to be completely different by the time I turn thirty-one.  If the first step to change is awareness and the second is preparation, opportunity will be next.  I have found myself thinking from a very different perspective.  So while the stakes aren’t too high, now is the time to try some different things, try some shit I normally wouldn’t, entertain thoughts that I normally would be against because why not.

I’m aware that I am kind of leaving this without a conclusion or summation.  There is none.  Sometimes you gotta leave things open-ended.



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