The Days After Cydney Came

I couldn’t wait to wake up the next morning after Cydney was born.  I got a text from Timile saying “Hey, daddy” and that just made my world.  I put on a pink shirt thinking I can’t be at the hospital all day because I have to get it ready for Cydney and Timile coming home the next day.  Timile texted me a lullaby that she made up for Cydney and I thought it was awesome.  

I rushed to the hospital to see my girl and my little girl feeling a high I’d never felt.  I got there and Timile tried breastfeeding and everything.  We had a pretty regular day that you have when you just have a baby.  Mostly smiles, laughs, talks of big plans, etc.  Well, there was one matter that we had to still settle on: the name.  We talked about it the night before whether or not it would be Peyton of Cydney.  I liked Peyton, but Timile insisted on Cydney. Timile said that in all of the names we had picked out and she had organized in a list on her phone, Cydney Moriah came to her in a dream.  One day we were fooling around with a name generator and Sydney Mariah came up.  She said that was confirmation.  I actually wanted it to be spelled with an S.  Timile wanted it to be with a C.  With it being our first child and my name beginning with a C also that’s what she wanted.  However, I wasn’t sold on it.  That night when I went home I saw it written out on a piece of paper and it all made sense to  me.  So when I got there that next morning I told Timile that I was all in on Cydney Moriah Milner.

Timile told me the next morning that she was still having some of the same troubles digesting food that she had during the pregnancy.  She’d alerted the nurses and they were monitoring it.  Of course, this was the day that she was supposed to be heading home and they wanted to do so because that’s what insurance covered and was the policy.  However after some fighting, they looked into it because Timile was admitted two other times for similar problems.  The assumption was that it was preeclapmsia because those symptoms were common for that.  Timile had to really convince these people that something was wrong because they just thought it was something that would go away in a day or two.  They kept her for another day and saw that things weren’t changing.  The doctors started taking this really serious.  They started running tests to see what was really going on.

A few days later, TImile had a PET scan.  I was at the house doing some serious disinfecting the bedroom preparing for my girls to get home.  Timile  called me and told me that during the PET scan they found two bumps: one in her lower esophagus and one in her upper stomach.  I asked if they knew what it was?  She said they didn’t.  I was saying to her in a reassuring tone and being wishful “Well, maybe they’re just polyps.  Those tend to be irritating.”  I did some more cleaning up around the bedroom but I thought to myself “What if this is cancer?”  Man, I wasn’t ready to deal with that if it was if it was.  She said they were going to do a biopsy and see what is really going on.

I got to the hospital and in spite of that information it was still kind of like the normal just had a baby visit.  I think that day was the last one of those because everything else became about taking care of Timile and whatever was wrong with her.  

Looking back at everything, those few days were really hectic.  You know how you never realize how wild things are when you’re in the midst of it because all you’re trying to do is get out of whatever you’re in.  At this point, I’m two years removed but everything feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago at the same time.

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